Finding Myself Through Meditation
There is no shortage of words like “self care”, “balance”, “mindfulness”, “joy” that’s being used in our daily vocabulary. We are living in a time where we are fully aware that we live very busy, stressful, chaotic, anxiety filled lives that is jeopardizing not only our physical but also mental and spiritual health. As much as we go get our nails done or buy the mug or t-shirt that says “good vibes only” are we really living that life??? I think we have every intention and desire to but if we really think about it we probably aren’t.
I know that was the case for me. I was all about doing things to better myself… superficially (if we are being completely honest). It had to be quick, easy and bring me instant gratification since my typical week was all about the grind and hustle. I had no idea that my actions and thoughts were not aligning to how I wanted to live. I was not living from the inside out- it was much more for the appearance or how it would be perceived on the outside and hoping if I said or did one of these things enough times it would penetrate inwards.
Don’t get me wrong- I’m sure it helped a little however I needed something deeper and not superficial. In beauty talk, I needed the intense serum that penetrates deep, not just the moisturizer that sits on the surface. After dipping my toes into a couple of different things, I was introduced to meditation. I had NEVER really thought about meditation before. I thought I wasn’t someone who needed it, besides I couldn’t lay in stillness for 20…10… 5 … MINUTES! To be fair I had no real clue what meditation was and why people would do it and how it would benefit their life. I just knew it wasn’t going to do anything for me. However, I was at a stage in my life where I think my soul was searching for something more and just like that the universe was at work. I was presented with an opportunity to try a 25 minute guided relaxation meditation from my long time Spiritual Coach. So I decided to give up 30 minutes of the mindless TV I craved after a crazy stressful day at work. I mean this is what I looked forward to every week; it was what got me through Terrible Tuesdays.
I told my husband I was going to our room and to leave me alone for 30 minutes because I was trying this “meditation thing”. Of course he supported me, as he does with all my other crazy weird ideas… which you will soon discover. So I got myself into position- laid down on the floor beside my bed with my head on a pillow and blanket covering me to keep me warm. I had no idea if this was “proper” but I went with it. I started to listen to the recording, trying my best to follow along and hope that what I was being told would ensure I was doing it “right” haha little did I know. Right off the top we started by clearing and rebalancing our Chakras- “what the hell is a chakra” I said to myself, “I need to Google this” but continued along with it since I committed myself to trying. I continued through the rest of the meditation trying my hardest to not let my mind get consumed with my huge to do list and to my amazement just like that the 25 minutes had flown by and I was done. I opened my eyes and instantly felt this amazing yet weird sensation throughout my body. I felt this amazing energy and tingling sensation- it took me a while to get up and even walk. I walked downstairs and immediately told my husband about my experience. “WOW!” was all I could say to him. I had felt all the tension from my body lifted, I felt this lightness throughout my body and even my voice conveyed this sense of calmness. I didn’t know if this was normal or if I was meant to feel this way- regardless it felt like a complete success to me!
From that point on I was a believer! I didn’t know if there would be any long-term changes or affects but I didn’t care- I loved the way it made me feel. Slowly but surely I did notice a change- my inner voice, my soul was awakened and speaking to me. My outlook on life began to change. The person I wanted to be, the life I wanted to live was changing (for the better). It brought me this surge of gratitude, joy, and energy for life! I started to align to my life purpose and through that vibration the universe was opening up doors and opportunities to me that had never crossed my mind before. After reflection and thought, I can say it truly was because I had never taken even 10 minutes of silence to clear my mind and let my soul speak to me.
So if we want to truly embody mindfulness and find balance in our crazy lives the real self-care needs to start from within. Meditation is only one of the many tools I use to help be present and connect to myself. It truly was the catalyst and without it I don’t think I would be able to appreciate the other tools and practices I have now adopted into my daily life.